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Ms. Vicki: Military Mom's Reaction to Gay Teacher 'Dangerous'

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

I don't want to say which Army post we live on, but I have two children who attend school on post and they are in the second and fourth grades. I won't say who is in which grade because I am trying to protect mine and their anonymity.

To get to the point, one of my children's teachers is gay. I know this because he is flamingly feminine. I can't understand why he would be allowed to be a teacher with this behavior. The administrators who hired him should know that children at this age are very impressionable and like to emulate teachers and the other adults they are around.

We recently PCS'd to this post over the Christmas holiday and, after I realized this about the teacher, I did request that my child be moved last month. The principal refused to move my child to a different room. She kept wanting to know exactly why I wanted my child moved and I wanted to tell her the truth but I didn't.

It's because my husband is a "manly man," not effeminate at all, and we do not want these people having an influence over our children.

What's so bad is that other parents are sitting around gossiping about this too, but no one is willing to stand up and put a stop to it. Do you think I should start a petition to have this teacher removed and take it to the school board? Any advice you have would help.

-- Tired of Being Politically Correct

Dear Politically Correct,

Every week, I receive a few letters that leave me speechless with my mouth wide open. I don't know what "flamingly feminine" looks like, but what you are planning to do really sounds dangerous to me.

You want to have a professional man removed from his job, basically ruining his career, because you don't like his mannerisms? Is that what you are saying?

Honestly, what he is teaching your child is an educational curriculum: things like reading, math and science. But what I hear you saying is that you don't like "these people." Who are "these people," anyway?

Here's what I will tell you: As a mother, you have the right to have your child in an environment of your choosing. However, you can't try to have a teacher fired or removed because he has feminine mannerisms or because you think he is gay. If you had a problem with him for reasons related to how he does his job -- if he were a lousy teacher, for example -- then I would understand your concerns. But you've said nothing about that.

Your children are in a public school. I honestly think the only way you will insulate them from gay people or from anyone else you have a problem with -- and it is your choice to do so -- is to homeschool them.

Many parents homeschool for many different reasons. Homeschooling will give you the option to approve what and how you teach them. You and your husband and whoever else you approve of can be their teachers

Please don't try to ruin this man's career because you simply don't like his mannerisms. If you did that, what would you be teaching your children?

-- Ms. Vicki

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Contributor

Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, has been the Dear Abby for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology.

Ms. Vicki appears regularly on Military.com and in the Fort Campbell Courier. Her column has also appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Looking for advice about your military life? Email Ms. Vicki here. Find Ms. Vicki on Facebook here.  Find Ms. Vicki on Twitter here.

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