Game Review: Bionic Commando

Mclatchy -Tribune News Service

Bionic Commando

For: Playstation 3 and Xbox 360

From: GRIN/Capcom

ESRB Rating: Mature (blood and gore, strong language, violence)

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There aren't many hard and fast rules that apply to the entirety of game design, but there are some.

For instance: Don't punish your most spirited customers.

That "Bionic Commando" even nicks this rule is bewildering when you realize GRIN got the hardest part absolutely right. The original 1988 "Commando" made its name entirely through the main character's bionic arm, which allowed him to swing through the kind of 2D levels most characters jumped through at the time. It worked then, and it works remarkably well now in spite of a third dimension and a mostly hands-off approach that makes it easy to miscalculate a swing and plummet to your death. Intuitive controls, combined with credible motion physics, make for a fun swing mechanic that's neither too hard to master nor so easy as to be mindless.

The arm proves just as invaluable in combat. Spencer (that's you) can toss everything from parked cars to park benches at enemies. He also can, among other tricks, lift enemies into the air like kites and swing kick into them like they're bowling pins. "Commando" employs a deep rewards system for using every trick in your arsenal, but considering how pithy your firearms are by comparison, the bribery isn't even necessary.

But all this cool stuff never gels like it should because of some constricting level design, which teams up with some unfortunate methods of punishment to keep adventurous players from getting too frisky. Outdoor levels that look like open-ended playgrounds reveal themselves to be anything but, walled off by a very blurry line of radiation that quickly kills players who accidentally cross those lines and can't cross back quickly enough. Optional collectables off the beaten path should be a blast to acquire due to the gymnastics needed to reach them, but many of them take you so far out of the way that it's hard to even get back to square one without risking a plummet.

That alone wouldn't be so bad if "Commando's" sparse checkpoint system didn't punish you for playing adventurously. After a few instances of losing 10 minutes of forward progress because you accidentally landed on a radioactive rooftop or missed one jump after nabbing some useless collectable (which you lose anyway if you don't reach another checkpoint before perishing), you might be too annoyed to bother anymore.

The bitter taste left by moments like these, to say nothing of a storyline that's hammered by awful voice acting and frightfully unlikeable characters (Spencer absolutely included), makes "Commando" a game that's as detestable at its worst as it is loveable at its best. Those entranced by the series' legacy absolutely should carry out any plans to give it a run-through. But a weekend rental likely will be all "Commando" needs to make its mark, provide some entertainment, and subsequently wear out its welcome.

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