Dear Children


I realize that I'm the only adult in the house at the moment. I understand sometimes you have questions that only an adult can answer: like, "May I go outside and play?" and "May I have those leftover Pixie Stix since they didn't get into Halloween bags?" and the omnipresent favorite, "What's for dinner tonight?" (this one is usually asked at 8:30 am).

You may also find yourselves in a situation that only an adult can handle: for instance, like that time when Daughter #1 shaved off her eyebrows and The Informer (Daughter #3) couldn't wait to spill the beans.

But I beg you, please. PLEASE contain yourselves until I leave the bathroom to ask me these things! I'm doing stuff in there, stuff that you really aren't helping. In fact, and this may surprise you, sometimes I go in there when I don't actually need to go in there just to get some privacy and solitude. Which, I have to admit, is somewhat spoiled when you stand outside the door saying, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!"

As always, there is an exception for emergencies. Like that time The Boy made a paperclip chain and decided to stick each end of it in a socket. That calls for interrupting my Mom time in the bathroom.

But otherwise? For your own safety and well being I heartily suggest you take a chill until I come out. I promise, I won't take too long.

Love, Mom

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