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Should I Tell Wife About Husband's Flirting?

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

I am a very social person and I love meeting new people. Moving to different places with my husband, I meet single or married soldiers.

I gravitate toward more male friends than females. My husband knows about them, but there is one married male friend who is a problem.

My husband advised me to stop talking to him because he has seen the texts and thought this guy was flirting with me. (Which I thought it was a nice compliment).

The text said that I was a nice catch and that he never told his wife about me. He told me he is willing to have sex with me, but whatever he does or doesn’t do, it won’t change how he feels about his wife and that he truly loves her. 

That was the last conversation I had with him. I have moved since then. We were friends on Facebook, but not since my husband saw a message from him.

His wife has the same mutual friends I have from two different duty stations. He says he would never cheat on her, but I can't help but wonder if he has been doing this behind his wife's back for a while now.

He confessed to me that he enjoys flirting with other women. Should I anonymously send an email to his wife?

Sincerely,
GB

Dear GB,

Absolutely do not email his wife! I just don’t think that’s a good decision. After all, you were flattered by his attention, too.

Listen, he is married and he’s a playa. He wants his wife, but he wants a side chick too. Or two or three ... or however many side chicks will accommodate him.

See, the deal is that women have to change the game and stop allowing married men to step to them and feed them a line of bull.

To me, that’s the big problem: Women don’t support each other. We fall prey to any man who looks at us, compliments us, winks at us, texts us or sends us a Facebook message.

You have to be honest with yourself. It seems that you were willing to entertain this guy’s flirtation until your husband put a stop to it. Am I right?

In your defense, every woman likes compliments. It is flattering. However, you have to know how to “keep it moving” or you will find yourself in the arms and the bed of another man before you know it. It happens really fast. The next thing you know, you are the one having marital problems.

Again, I think you should leave this guy alone and his wife too. Let me know what you decide to do.

Sincerely,
Ms. Vicki

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Contributor

Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, has been the Dear Abby for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology.

Ms. Vicki appears regularly on Military.com and in the Fort Campbell Courier. Her column has also appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Looking for advice about your military life? Email Ms. Vicki here. Find Ms. Vicki on Facebook here.  Find Ms. Vicki on Twitter here.

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