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Ms. Vicki's Pornography Quick Quiz

Ask Ms. Vicki

Pornography is a billion-dollar-a-year industry, making it clear that thousands of people use pornography every day and for many reasons. It’s very popular with many people.

On a weekly basis in clinical practice, I meet couples with relationship problems because pornography has taken over and robbed them of their intimacy and overall love life. Take a look at some important recent statistics below:

-- Every second, $3, 075 is spent on porn.
-- Every second, 28, 258 internet users are viewing porn.
-- Every second, 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines.
-- Every 39 minutes, a new porn video is being created in the U.S.

Many people argue that an addiction to pornography does exist. It affects many military families like the one who wrote in this week.

A pornography addiction is defined as a craving for pornography characterized by compulsive viewing, reading and thinking about pornography and sexual themes -- even though this behavior causes problems in many areas of your life.

I can almost hear some of you saying, “But Ms. Vicki, I don’t have a problem with porn!” Well take the Quick Quiz. If you answer yes to any question, you may have a problem with pornography.

  1. Has your pornography activity increased and become more frequent and more intense from when you first started? Do you need your fix before PT and after PT? Do you make time during unit meetings? Has your porn use increased since redeployment?
  2. Do you hide it from your spouse or partner and lie about how much you view it or participate in porn activity? Does your spouse or partner say you are very different from the person they first fell in love with?
  3. Has it caused marital or other relationship problems such as frequent arguments, isolation, break-ups or separations from your spouse or partner?
  4. Does is consume every aspect of your life and you must have it every day? Does pornography help you cope with the stress of military life -- training, deployments, reintegration, financial stress and other life issues?
  5. Do you feel detached from reality and more attached with what you are viewing?
  6. Has pornography caused problems at work, or interfered with hobbies or family time? Are you facing UCMJ actions or pending discharge from the military because of porn?
  7. Do you constantly think about porn and would you rather be engaged with porn over anything else? Do your peers say you appear to be preoccupied or unfocused on the mission?

Again, if you answered yes to any question, this can be an indication that pornography is a problem for you. I highly recommend you speak to a professional. Ask to speak with someone off the record. They will advise you on how to proceed and get help.

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Ms. Vicki, a native of Dallas, has been the ‘Dear Abby’ for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her column has appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Ms. Vicki has retired from writing new columns for Although Ms. Vicki is no longer offering new advice on, you can still email military benefits questions to our Questions and Benefits team. Need military spouse career help? Email our Dear Career writers.