Relationship Topics

Sign up for the Spouse & Family Newsletter

Most Popular Relationships Articles

Soldier Boyfriend Skipped Out on Loan

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

I was dating an Army specialist. I took out a motorbike loan for him, and he is deploying next month.

My boyfriend is not making the loan payments in a timely manner, and I am just concerned about the loan once he deploys.

He doesn't want to communicate with me or find a solution. I was going to report the bike as stolen, but I don't to get him in trouble with the law and have this affect this career.

I just want him to be responsible. Do you have any suggestions as to what I should do next?


Dear KK,

Your letter is very important because it teaches everyone a valuable lesson -- don’t take out loans to finance personal items for other people.

If their credit was good, they could have secured a loan in their own name. They did not because their credit is very poor. Furthermore, their credit is poor probably because they don’t pay their debts on time.

Here’s the hard lesson: If they don’t pay other debtors and lenders, they won’t pay a friend either. This guy has probably deployed by now, making it even more difficult for you to contact him.

Honestly, I don’t think he ever had any intention of paying the loan. He only wanted the motorcycle and to get whatever else you were willing to give him.

I hope you had him sign a promissory note agreeing to pay the loan. If not, it will be difficult for you to collect on the payment.

If I were you, I would do two things. First, I would try to contact his company commander or his first sergeant and let them know he has reneged on payment. They may or may not help even if you have proof. It’s worth the try.

Second, you might have to wait until he returns, but you may have to take him to small claims court if he doesn’t pay the loan.

Right now, the loan is in your name and the bank will expect you to pay. I’m not bashing you, but don’t ever do this again. You are putting your own finances in jeopardy.

Ms. Vicki

Related Topics

Ask Ms. Vicki

Military News App by

Download the new News App for Android on Google Play or for Apple devices on iTunes!


Ms. Vicki, a native of Dallas, has been the ‘Dear Abby’ for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her column has appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Ms. Vicki has retired from writing new columns for Although Ms. Vicki is no longer offering new advice on, you can still email military benefits questions to our Questions and Benefits team. Need military spouse career help? Email our Dear Career writers.