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A Spouse Asks If She Must Give Up Her Dream Career

Ms. Vicki

Dear Ms. Vicki,

I am between a rock and a hard place. I have been happily married to my husband for almost six years now. The big issue that I am having is getting a good job and keeping it.

I have a bachelor's degree in aviation, but I cannot find employment because of where we are currently stationed. I truthfully gave up on my dream of working in the aviation field because of my husband being in the military. I find myself taking whatever decent job is available.

The issue that I have is that I am bouncing around trying to get in whatever field I think I can thrive in, but I still come up empty. I feel so unfulfilled with it comes to my career. At this point, I just do not know what to do. I just want to have a career that I can be proud of.

Grounded Flier

Dear Flier,

Of course you feel unfulfilled because you are not pursuing your passion. There are military spouses around the world who understand exactly what you are experiencing. My passion is writing, but social work and therapy have been portable fields for me. Like you, I was able to find good employment, and it turned out to be a gateway for me to write.

You've come too far to give up now. I think everything you are doing will somehow be used to help you in your future career in aviation.

In the meantime, here are my suggestions: Join as many aviation groups and associations as you can afford. This will keep you in the network of fellow aviators. Attend aviation trainings and workshops so that you stay abreast of different changes in your career field and can network with others. Consider getting other certificates in aviation, too. These certificates, trainings and workshops will be great things for you to put on your resume, and they will keep you on top of your field.

Keep in touch,
Ms. Vicki

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Ms. Vicki, a native of Dallas, has been the ‘Dear Abby’ for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her column has appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.

Ms. Vicki has retired from writing new columns for Although Ms. Vicki is no longer offering new advice on, you can still email military benefits questions to our Questions and Benefits team. Need military spouse career help? Email our Dear Career writers.

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