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Dear Career: I Hate My New Job

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Dear Career,

I don't know what to do. I am a military spouse, and I'm happy to say that, through networking, I found a great job in just a few weeks after moving to our new duty station.

That said, I think I hate it. I've been there for a few weeks already, and we're undergoing crazy hard training. More than the difficulty level, I'm just not sure the position they hired me into is a great match for my personality and skill set.

I do think there are roles in the company that would fit me better, but I'm not sure if I should tough this out for a while or ask to be moved into something different.

It's hard enough to find any job as a military spouse new to an area, but I am really not sure if I can see myself staying in this position. Help!

-- Not Ecstatic in Norfolk

Dear Not --

First, kudos on using networking to find the position. But I'm terribly sorry things aren't working out the way you'd hoped.

It's definitely a tough situation at this juncture. You're right: It isn't always easy finding a good position to start with, and certainly not ideal to have to move jobs more than the military already makes necessary.

That said, you also are not required to stay somewhere that makes you miserable. I think you should speak up, and, honestly, I think the sooner the better in this case. Normally, I would tell someone they should give the work a few months -- up to six -- before deciding for sure whether it was a bad fit, but in this case, mostly because you see other opportunities in the company where you think you could excel, I think you should mention it to someone.

My advice: If possible, reach out to the person who served as your connection inside the company. If you were networked into the position, that means someone on the inside helped you get connected and you can hopefully reach out for some friendly advice.

Let them know you're incredibly grateful for the position and you have no desire to "jump ship" or race out the door, but you see that there may be a better place for you in the company. Ask them if they think it wise for you to approach management and work on a reassignment.

But there is one caveat. Please make sure that when you approach, you make it clear that you would like to stay with the company and that you're not simply looking for an "easier" role or one that seems more fun, etc.

Your best course of action at this point is to be positive and solutions-based and make them believe the move could benefit the organization as well (because of the better use of your skills).

Hopefully, your contact will have solid advice, and I hope for your sake they are able to get you into a position with a more positive outlook for you!

Best of luck,

-- Have a spouse career question to submit? Email us at

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Dear Career tackles the trickiest careers questions from real military spouses with advice from spouse career experts at In Gear Career.

A part of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation’s Hiring Our Heroes, In Gear Career chapters provide professional development and networking to career-minded military spouses located at military installations around the world.

Want to find a local In Gear Career chapter or learn more about what In Gear Career can do for you? Find us here!

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