SpouseBuzz

Dear Murphy: I Hate You and Your Law

As a military spouse, I know all too well about Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong after your spouse leaves for a deployment, training or overseas assignment. Whatever the case may be, something is bound to go wrong and make the situation even more stressful and challenging than it has to be.

When my husband left for his one year assignment in Japan, Murphy wasted no time and hit just a few hours after dropping him off at the airport.

 

Dear Murphy,

As much as I love having company, I wasn’t ready for it mere hours after returning home from saying goodbye to my husband at the airport. After the night I had, the plan was to spend the day relaxing after an exhaustive night of crying myself to sleep. Yet, instead, I awoke the next morning to find a parking ticket on my windshield—this just wasn’t necessary. I had parked that way many times before and you chose that day to give me a parking ticket. Nice.

If that wasn’t enough, you decide to put my new car in jeopardy. Pulling into traffic, I almost got hit by an oncoming car on the way to the mall. My husband would have loved to hear that I totaled my new car, less than a week after he bought it for me. NOT!

Adding insult to injury, Murphy, you decided to throw in some computer issues as well ... during finals week.  The same night after my husband left, and my top row of keys happen to stop working, completely out of the blue, costing a cool $300 to fix.

Three days later, you decided my 4.0 GPA was too high and gave me a failing grade on my final paper for my communications class, leading me to to send my professor an email, pouring my heart out and begging for a redo.  Luckily, she was much nicer than you and understood my circumstances. She gladly let me re-submit it for a better grade, and I kept my 4.0.

A week later, I was finally feeling better, and like I might have everything under control. However, it was then you decided I needed a new living situation, because I guess I was getting a little too comfortable at my mother-in-law’s house. So, that weekend, I had to pack up my bags and move onto to bigger and better things at a friend’s house.

I had high hopes for this new place: I had the entire basement apartment to myself with my own entrance.  I was able to move in my own furniture and spread out a bit; it was going to be great! And, then I moved in to discover the previous tenant wasn’t a clean individual. I had to bribe my friends to get them to help me clean it out and make it livable (not an exaggeration, folks).

A few days later, I finally felt comfortable enough to walk around without shoes on and was settled into the new space. Again, my hopes were high. But 48 hours of happiness was unacceptable, I guess, because then you decided my dog needed some new friends: fleas. We do plan on getting Jack a friend at some point and appreciate the gesture, but we were thinking more along the lines of a second dog. Not fleas.

This called for a trip to Wal-Mart and almost $100 later, I had stocked up on every flea product they sold on top of purchasing new bedding. That night was spent washing all clothes and linens, giving Jack a flea treatment (which he wanted NOTHING to do with), and spraying down every inch of the room with flea spray.  I then had to continue this spray down ritual every day for over a week until the itching finally stopped and we were able to move on.

At this point, it had only been three weeks and you had already seriously overstayed your welcome. I needed some time to myself, to regroup, and take a moment to breathe and devise a plan to move forward. You went away for a week and, honestly, it was one of the best weeks of my life.  Everything felt calm and under control.

Then one morning, you decided to make one last appearance. After going to bed at 4 a.m., I was woken up three hours later to turkeys outside my bedroom window. No joke. Turkeys. I gave up sleeping after listening to them for a straight hour. After a very long, exhausting day, I decided to treat myself to my favorite ice cream: Chunky Monkey.

I was so excited to have some wine and eat my goodies. But you had other plans. Right as I went to take the first bite, Jack hopped up into my lap and the entire carton fell upside down onto the carpet.

Needless to say, I would love a few weeks off from company.

Yours truly,

Keating

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