Miscarriage is not unusual among military spouses. According to the the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, up to 25% of clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage.
That doesn't make it easy. When you combine a miscarriage with a PCS or a deployment, that makes the experience that much harder. Kalani, a young Navy spouse, wrote in to ask our SpouseBuzz readers for a little advice:
When my husband and I found out we were having a baby, we were more than happy and very excited about our soon-to-be new addition. The military hospital we were receiving care from gave us options of many different classes we could take on becoming new parents. They recommended books and pamphlets to read.My first instinct is to recommend that Kalani call Military OneSource 1.800.342.9647 to get a little counseling. This is exactly the kind of situation Military OneSource was designed to help. They offer face-to-face counseling in your local area, counseling by phone, online counseling and even health and wellness counseling. Having the ear of someone who is one your side that you don't have to impress can be really helpful after a move.
Four months into the pregnancy we suffered a miscarriage. Now I'm left searching for help and grief counseling. I haven't been able to locate or find support groups in my area. Is there any military based counseling or support groups for things such as this? Online or on bases?
It's really frustrating to feel like doctors are silently telling you to "move on," saying that this something they commonly see. We just went through a deployment and a PCS and now the loss of our baby. Help is greatly needed!
If you have experience a miscarriage, what would you advise this young couple? Is there a program or book that worked for you? Are there right words or right things that this couple could say and do for each other?