I've been waiting to see if my husband would get permission to come home from Afghanistan for the birth of our baby. It seems that he has gotten tentative permission and, assuming that he gets official word sometime soon, he told me the potential date range he'd be allowed to come home.
What's the first rule of Army? Never believe the Army. Nothing is guaranteed until after it has happened. Don't get attached to any proposed plans.
I know this. I know it know it know it. And yet within ten seconds of hearing that potential date, I got so hooked on that possibility. Beyond emotionally invested. I started making mental plans and all my visions of labor started to include him in the delivery room.
I am walking on dangerous ground...but I couldn't help myself. No amount of logical restraint could keep my heart from getting hooked on that date.
My heart is doing somersaults while my brain is worrying we're headed for disaster.
My heart is winning...gulp.