Dear Ms. Vicki,
My friend Tim (that's not his real name) is deployed to Djibouti, and he's coming home next month. We went to high school together and have remained friends for more than 10 years.
Tim is the hometown hero in our city in Alabama because he joined the Marine Corps right after high school, has done two tours to Afghanistan and is now in Africa doing some special assignment. He's planning on proposing to his girlfriend when he comes home in about three weeks and marrying her really quickly because his father is a minister and has privileges to marry them.
Tim is so excited to be marrying Megan (that's also not her real name), but I don't know what to do because Megan is no good for Tim. She's always going to college parties every weekend, hanging out with the football boys, and doing who knows what.
One weekend, a bunch of our friends and I were at the college for a night of partying and who did I see at the first club we walked into? Megan twerking some guy up and down, and he looked like he was 10 years younger than her. She's a 32-year-old woman, and she should act like it!
She's taking advantage of Tim and only wants him because he makes good money as a Marine. I believe she will take him for every dime he has just as soon as he marries her. Should I tell Tim or his parents what's going on?
Ms. Vicki, I need your help fast!
I get questions like this all of the time. Someone knows something about the bride or groom, the fiancé, etc. They ask me if they should tell the big secret. No matter what advice I give, people never take it. Let me get to the point.
You can tell Tim that he is marrying a straight up-ratchet-gold digger, but don't be surprised if he doesn't listen to you or his parents. He will marry her anyway. You also have to understand that Tim probably knows Megan's nature. He knows she's a bad girl -- and he likes it. You could lose your friendship with Tim if you bad-mouth Megan.
Now, in your defense, I know you love Tim and you only want what's best for him because he is your friend. He deserves someone who will be good to him.
It also sounds like he is marrying a big party girl who isn't ready for marriage. I get it. However, it's his choice.
You can tell him if you want, but be willing to accept any harsh consequences that could come. Let me know if you attend the big wedding.
-- Ms. Vicki