Dear Ms. Vicki,
My husband cheated on me and I need some advice. He told me that the affair is over now, but that he and the woman would meet up in a storage unit she rents. He said they did this so that neither would have a hotel charge show up on their bank statements. What type of woman meets a man in a storage unit, Ms. Vicki? He also told me that he isn’t the only one, that other people are using storage units for affairs. This makes me think he might have had sex with other women in storage units, too. He says he has stopped this affair but he doesn’t want to go to marriage counseling with me. I don’t know what to think. Please give me some advice if you can.
Sincrerely, Storage Wars
Dear Storage Wars,
Well, this gives a whole new meaning to the slogan, “You pack it and we store it!”
Honestly, I have heard of people having sex in storage units before. It doesn’t take much to understand why this happens.
Number one, it’s very inconspicuous. Who pays attention to people who enter and exit public storage facilities or to the cars that are parked outside? I know I don’t.
Number two, there’s no evidence of a hotel visit for a spouse to find, like bank transactions, receipts or hotel card keys.
And number three, it’s probably less expensive than a hotel room, especially if one of the people has already rented the unit to actually store their belongings.
We could dissect this one all day to study and try to rationalize this aspect of human behavior, but I’m a clinician -- not a social psychologist. Besides, the point is that your marriage is in trouble. I think you’re right to suspect that someone who does this is likely to be an avid cheater.
What I’ve learned over the years is that infidelity is rampant in military communities and among military service members across the service branches, whether it happens in housing, hotels, cars or storage units. There’s just no way to say it other than that. Am I saying that everyone cheats? No, but a lot of people do cheat.
I wish I could help you more with this issue. I highly recommend marriage therapy if you want to save your marriage. If your husband won’t go then I absolutely think you should attend some therapy sessions alone. You will need the support. Please stay in touch and thank you so much for writing me.
Sincerely, Ms. Vicki