Under the Radar

A Celebrity Dating Solution



Can someone explain this phenomenon to us? Seriously, why would any regular person want to go out with someone who has to hire other people to handle basic daily tasks like ordering a Starbucks, picking up the dry cleaning or even answering the damn telephone?

PFC Hart at least brings some basic production values to his plea and maybe he's young enough himself that Miley Cyrus is an age-appropriate date.


And, while most everyone here at UTR prefers the comedy stylings of Bill Hicks or Dave Chappelle, we're willing to concede that lots of folks think Dane Cook is funny. But Terrina here doesn't make a great case  for herself by going on (and on) for a full 3:41 with a video that looks like it was shot on a low-res cellphone.

Here's a proposal. Flipping channels last week in the middle of the night, we caught an episode of Car 54, Where Are You? on the MeTV channel (ask your grandparents for details, but apparently that show was like the Arrested Development of its time). There's no video of this anywhere online and you can't buy it on DVD or rent it from Netflix, so just go with us here. The episode (titled Joan Crawford Didn't Say No) was about a matchmaking service that claimed to marry its clients to famous celebrities.

The bunco squad gets called in and arrests the matchmaker for fraud. When the case goes to trial, it turns out that her clients who originally paid to marry Doris Day or Rock Hudson were actually getting married to each other. Case dismissed, everybody's happy.

So, maybe all you YouTube celebrity daters should hook up with each other. You'll definitely have something in common: you already share both your military service and an overwhelming desire for attention.

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