55 Questions to Break the Military Marriage Radio Silence


Separation can be tough on a marriage, and most of us have been there. Your spouse calls from training or while deployed and asks how things are going, or you're trying to reconnect after he or she has returned home. After you give them the play-by-play of the day, there is a lull in the conversation where you are left with little to say. But what if you were armed with a list of marriage questions to spur on the conversation?

Next time that happens to you, have this list of questions handy to get the conversation going and help the two of you reconnect. 

55 Great Military Marriage Questions 

1. What’s your favorite book? 2. What is your favorite song? 3. What movie reminds you of us? 4. What was the very first thing you thought about me? 5. What’s your favorite memory with your mom? 6. Where do you want to travel? 7. Where do you want to be living in 10 years? 8. If you could choose anyone, who would you choose as your mentor? 9. Would you like to be famous? For what? 10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? 11. What do you value most about friendship? 12. What’s one thing you always procrastinate on? 13. Do you usually follow your head or your heart when making decisions? 14. Which duty station has been your favorite so far? 15. If we could get stationed anywhere, where would you choose? 16. Do you believe in ghosts? 17. What would be your dream job? 18. Where do you want to retire? 19. What do you want to do after the military? 20. What’s your favorite thing about your career? 21. What do you miss the most when you are away? 22. What’s your favorite flavor of MRE? 23. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep? 24. What’s your favorite family tradition? 25. Who would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? 26. What song do you listen to the most? 27. What is you favorite quote? 28. If you could learn to do anything, what would it be? 29. What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received? 30. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? 31. What are you looking forward to when you get home? 32. What is the best thing that ever happened to you? 33. How can I better support you? 34. Do you remember the first thing we said to each other? 35. What is something you always wanted to do as a child but never got to do? 36. What are your favorite and least favorite board games? 37. If you could write one new law that everyone had to obey what would it be? 38. What’s the first thing you would do if you won $50,000? 39. If you were asked to give yourself a nickname, what would it be? 40. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? 41. What is one thing you would like to accomplish by this time next year? 42. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met? 43. If someone wrote a book about you, what would the title be? 44. How would you describe yourself in 3 words? 45. Who is your favorite cartoon character? 46. If a theme song played every time you entered a room, what would it be? 47. If you had to eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life where would it be? 48. What is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you? 49. What is the trait you value the most? 50. Would you rather be rich or famous? 51. What makes you feel most loved? 52. What is your dream job? 53. If you were a professional athlete what sport would you play? 54. Were you voted best anything your senior year in high school? 55. What is your favorite memory of us?

I know some of these marriage questions can feel kind of cheesy and hard to ask but make a game out of it. Have fun. Before your spouse leaves have him or her add to the list, write them all out on separate pieces of paper and put them in a "discussion bowl." If your spouse is home, put the bowl on the kitchen table and pull one out at dinner time. Chances are your spouse needs something to lighten the mood too. This can break the tension and hopefully get you laughing and connecting when distance keeps you apart.

What military marriage questions do you use to help spur conversation? We'd love to hear your ideas.

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