5 Ways to Be a Commissary Ninja


You are a commissary shopping Ninja. You know how the best times to go, the smart aisle to start in, when the cereal is the cheapest and even how to score the much coveted car cart for your kid.


But, still, you want to be better. You strive for commissary shopping perfection. You don't just want to survive the commissary -- you want to dominate. You want to make it your slave.

That's why we asked our Facebook fans for their favorite commissary shopping secret, weeded out the ones you probably already know ("make a list" um, yeah.) and then put the best ideas in this post, just for you.

Hack the commissary -- show it who's boss. And use this list you help you.

Go on payday. What? Everyone knows that you are supposed to stay AWAY from the commissary on payday. Right? Wrong! It's all about timing said several of our commenters. Showing up as soon as the doors open virtually guarantees a quick execution with fully stocked shelves. Commissary officials are prepared for the rush, so those discounted Cherioos you had your eye on are there, as well as that fresh stack of coupons next to the butter.

Bring headphones. You are calm. You are collected. You are rocking out to Katy Perry. These fools who are blocking the aisle with their basket while they debate ketchup sizes aren't bothering you, because you are in your own, happy shopping place. Jennifer Buzuleciu nailed it when she told us that this method is "so much less stressful."

Attack it like a military mission. Even if you were never a service member yourself you've learned the tactics of military missions by osmosis. You are the strategic Ninja warrior of the produce section. You've made a list, you've checked it twice, and you've organized it by the layout of the store. Take no hostages ... just bananas.

Bring snacks. And I don't mean for you -- although that's not a bad idea either. Fill those little hands in the car cart you scored with an endless supply of teddy grahams and apple sauce squeezies. The result? A dual reward of silence and occupied fingers. It's hard to pull all the mayo off the shelf when you're greedily stuffing fruit snacks into your mouth.

Reward yourself for a job well done.  You're thinking "my reward is being done with my grocery shopping." You're wrong. You are a professional. And professionals deserve perks. I buy myself a container of raspberries as long as they are below $2.50 each (you gotta have some constraints). Maybe that Diet Coke at the register is calling your name. Whatever it is, give it to you and say "well done, commissary warrior, well done."

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