On Mother’s Day it makes sense to call your mom and wish that she has a good day. But what about all the other days?
Just because today is a holiday doesn’t mean you should be treating your mom any differently. Having a relationship with your mom can be challenging especially when you face differences. But when you allow negativity to build between the both of you, the further apart you will become.
My dad regrets every day of not spending enough quality of time with his mom. He had the opportunity of driving to the city every weekend to visit his mom but never did because he was too busy and too stressed at work.
There finally came a day where my grandma suddenly died in the bathtub of her NY apartment. From that day on, my dad regrets on seeing his mom. Life’s too short to not improve the relationship with your mom.
As a teenager, I didn’t have a strong relationship with my mom. We actually got into a lot of arguments and I became distant. It took a traumatic experience of being sexually molested for both my mom and I to realize that we both yearn to have a relationship with each other.
Over the years, I’ve listened to my clients where they struggled to have a relationship with their mom and I’ve shared with them four pieces of wisdom on how to improve their relationship.
1. Express vulnerability. This can be a bit intimidating especially when resentment and negativity has built up. When you express your vulnerability to your mom, she is more likely to react in a loving manner.
When you continue to keep your walls up, the tension between the two of you will only increase and you will want to distance yourself even further. Take a leap of faith and show vulnerability. Express how you really feel and why you feel hurt. This is a great way to break the ice between the two of you.
2. Set a routine. Take the time out of your busy schedule to spend quality time with your mom. I don’t want you to experience what my dad experienced with his mom. Don’t have any regrets.
Make sure that you schedule a routine to get together where you two can catch up and share your thoughts. If you live far from your mom, take the time to call her every so often. Even if it’s once a month, trust me, she will greatly appreciate it!
3. Practice words of affirmation. All of us want to feel needed and appreciated, including your mom. This is especially important if you are an adult child with your own family.
It’s hard as it is saying goodbye to an adult child so when you practice words of affirmation, your mom will greatly appreciate it. It can be as simple as saying, “Thank you for being such a great mom. I love you,”
This simple yet powerful statement will mean the world to your mom. Express to your mom what she means to you and how much you appreciate how she took care of you.
4. Be forgiving. We all make mistakes, even your mom. You may have negative feelings about your childhood and how your mom raised you but be forgiving of her mistakes. Allow yourself to be empathic and look past at the mistakes your mom has made. If you are committed to improving the relationship with your mom, then you must be forgiving.
Having a relationship with your mom may be a challenging but if you implement these 4 pieces of wisdom on a consistent basis, you are more likely to improve the relationship that you have with your mom. Wishing you and your mom a lovely Mother’s Day!
Tiffany Mason is a Professional Life and Relationship Coach. As the owner of Mason Coaching and Consulting, she uses her expertise by working with busy wives who feel disconnected in their life and marriage overcome adversity in order to live a truly fulfilling and rewarding life. Click here to visit The Power of Precedents Website