Dear Family and Friends,
My husband and I are excited to FINALLY announce our next duty assignment!
It's always hard to think about moving (again). But hey! We knew what we signed up for, right?
Which is why we're thrilled to announce that we're moving to the moon! Yes, THE MOON!!
Already my PCS checklist is a mile long. I mean, even with the new Amazon delivery drones I'll have to make sure they can still bulk deliver our brand of diaper for the toddler.
I'm stockpiling coupons for Bed, Bath and Beyond because you know most locations will still take expired coupons, and by the time our assignment is over we'll be able to completely furnish our next house!
In all seriousness, though, we'll have to re-home the dog. We hear high altitude doesn't go over well with snub-nosed dogs. I'll be using the base yard sale page to find his next family, so haters please don't hate!
I know the WiFi will be spotty at times, but rest assured that APO mail will still accommodate the outer limits. Really, our biggest fear is those pesky moving restrictions on weight limits on what to take. Honestly, how they expect me to cram our entire lives into four space suits I have no clue.
According to my girlfriend who's already up there, we have to definitely wean the toddler off Oreos and Popsicles, because the local fare is much more basic. As for me, I'm looking forward to the challenge of new scenery. Maybe I'll take up rocket science!
Sure, it's a sacrifice to be called to serve, but someone's gotta do it. We'll be making big bank on this remote tour, so the kids' college fund will finally get some attention.
Naturally, the moon is not without danger. Which is why, of course, they've chosen to send the nation's finest. I'm so proud of my man to stand at the ready to serve his nation, no matter where or when or how.
And if the baby's teething patterns alter the planetary orbits, maybe we'll just let her chill out on an asteroid for a bit. Options for follow on assignments seem promising, so maybe we'll try for Mars next!
So see you in another three years, earthlings! Sure do hope that whole North Korea situation is sorted out by the time we're back.
Happy April Fools,
Love, The Most Military-Loving Fam You Know
Sarah writes about life in the US Air Force, raising a Jewish family and interfaith marraige. She lives in Tucson with her husband, son and daughter. Her idea of perfection is walking her dog, reading in a hammock and eating breakfast tacos. She has a BA in Political Science and Chinese and a Masters in Public Affairs.