4 Ways to Handle Adversity


Whether you are rushing out the door to take the kids to school, or taking care of the house while your spouse is deployed, adversity can be a scary thing to experience. This is especially true when it seems like you have to experience it alone.

As  a fellow military spouse, I understand the struggles and sacrifices that we spouses experiences on a daily basis and I want to share with you:

Four strategies how to best handle adversity. 

1. Focus on what you can control.There are many facets of life that we can’t control such as change of orders, our spouse getting deployed, and the weather.

The interesting thing about human beings is that we would rather blame others and outside facets for our own unhappiness.

What we need to do as military spouses is to focus our energy on what we can control. Yes, of course we will get upset when things come up that is unexpected but it’s all about how we deal with adversity.

When you focus on what you can control such as how you think, taking care of yourself and loving your spouse, we begin to view life in a more positive light.

2. It’s all about your beliefs. As Gandhi said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts.  Your thoughts become your words.  Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values,Your values become your destiny.”

Our brains can only think either positive or negative at one time. The amazing thing about this is that you have 100% control in your beliefs about yourself and how you view the world.

You can switch your beliefs from negative to positive just like switching on and off a light switch. What you believe in  will eventually become your destiny in life.

When you continue to discipline yourself in having a positive belief system rather than a negative one, you are more likely to handle adversity with an open mind and with resilience instead of having a close minded view on life. 

Create a positive belief system. This will not only affect you but also your entire family. When you begin to think more positively, your kids and spouse will also feel your positive energy. 

3. Ask for support. We all know that we can’t do everything by ourselves -- especially when giving birth while our spouse is gone or PCSing without help.

Experiencing a great amount of adversity requires a good group of people to support you. This may be as simple as calling a friend and sharing your struggles or reaching out to the different resources available on your base.

Never be afraid of reaching out for help. The military is here to help you, take advantage of it and ask for help.

4. Birds of a feather flock together. Positive people surround themselves with other positive people. This is the same when it comes to negative people. Those that are negative and dwell on their adversity are more likely to attract negative people.

Don’t be one of those people that attracts negativity in your life. Remember the Gandhi quote. Your beliefs will eventually become your destiny. When you start to surround yourself with positive people, your beliefs and thoughts will become more positive. So, choose your friends wisely.


Tiffany Mason is a Professional Life and Relationship Coach. As the owner of Mason Coaching and Consulting, she uses her expertise by working with busy wives who feel disconnected in their life and marriage overcome adversity in order to live a truly fulfilling and rewarding life. Click here to visit The Power of Precedents Website

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