Confessions of a Rookie Military Spouse

Don’t get me wrong. I knew what I was getting myself into from day one. We met in 10th grade. He was in Air Force Junior ROTC with aspirations of becoming a pilot.

Before we embarked on our Air Force journey, I was watching Army Wives. I wondered, “Is this what it is going to be like? Expectations and cut throat competition?”

And now I have my answer.

Yes and no.

Confession 1: I was completely intimidated. When I walked into my first spouse social, I was surrounded completely by strangers. I couldn’t help but feel completely intimidated around thirty women who had no clue who I was.I wasn’t even there five minutes before I was greeted and introduced to several people. By the end of the night, I met everyone.

We aren’t judgmental or catty. We know what it’s like to be in a new place with no friends, so we are always eager to make everyone feel welcomed.

Confession 2: I don’t understand all the acronyms. I’m not going to pretend I do. It’s going to take a while for me to learn all of them …

Confession 3:  I am still putting together my answers when I get asked awkward questions by  close friends who are not affiliated with the military in any way. They ask me things like, “How are you going to have a career? It’s all about him?”

I say I can have a career. I just have to be a little bit more creative and patient. Yes, my job options are limited, but I offer a number a wide range of skills. I personally don’t think a career defines me.

They say, “Are you OK with having to go through deployments? I could never do long distance.”

I say we did long distance through four years of college. So, that definitely helped prepare me. I heard deployments are hard. (Confession: I’ve only done TDY’s) But, I am confident that our relationship can make it through anything.

They ask, “How can you live with the military dictating our decisions?”

Honestly, I love it. The constantly moving thing is challenging, but I enjoy going to new places. I like the element of surprise because it makes life more exciting.

These are the main questions I get constantly from friends and family. I don’t expect them to understand. We make sacrifices for a cause bigger than us, and that feels amazing. The only people that truly understand this are other military families. Civilians will never grasp this concept.

Confession 4: I'm not ready for a baby. Many people associate the military with having babies. Even though I have met a number of lovely ladies with children, I’m just not to that point in my life yet. I am not going to have children for the next few years. I repeat. NOT FOR A FEW MORE YEARS. But, that won’t stop me from playing with everyone else’s adorable babies.

Confession 5: We are part of the military family. If someone is sick, having a baby, or needs help in any way, you instantly have a family to back you up everywhere you go.

If I was stranded with a dead car or needed a last minute pet sitter, my military family wouldn’t hesitate to help. If I wanted to see a movie or go shopping, I would be able to find someone to go with me (even if we are strangers). And I love them for it.

Confession 6: There are expectations being an officer’s wife, but not in the way Army Wives portray it. We are expected to be respectful to all military members and support our significant other. Other than that, it’s pretty laid back.

I can’t say that I knew EVERYTHING before getting into the military lifestyle. It’s not easy. But, the experiences make it worthwhile.

Victoria Evans is new to the military lifestyle. She's a Georgia Southern University grad and a Public Relations enthusiast who works as a Social Media Editor for small businesses.  When she has free time Victoria volunteers at the USO center to support other military service members. Read more about her thoughts, fears, ideas, and life in the wild blue yonder.

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