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National Guard: My In-Laws Live Too Close

At SpouseBuzz, we talk about what to do with the in-laws at Homecoming all the time.

Everyone can pretty much understand that the in-laws want to see their returned child.  Yet the consensus is that in-laws should give the young family a little room for reintegration before a visit.

That must be nice for active duty who live thousands of miles away from their in-laws.  That must be nice for people who have in-laws who take no for an answer.

But members of the National Guard may not have that kind of protective distance.  What happens after Homecoming when the in-laws live right up the road?

A National Guard Family Readiness Support Assistant in Wisconsin wrote us recently to ask our readers for some advice.  One of her spouses is having exactly this problem with her in-laws:

Her in-laws live two miles down the road and her spouse is returning home this summer. Her in-laws are already making a bunch of plans for them once he returns. How should she handle this situation? She wants to be able to spend some time alone with her husband and is afraid his parents are going to be over constantly. Any advice I can pass onto the spouse?
I am kind of stumped on this one.  Is this just the kind of imaginary planning that is normal in the National Guard?  Or will the parents really expect the soldier and his wife to attend an event every single weekend?  Should the spouse talk to her in-laws now, or is it better just to nod and listen and not commit to anything?

If you have had some experience with having in-laws live a little too close after a deployment, what kind of advice or encouragement would you offer this spouse?

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