On the hard days the sadness of military absence is heavy like a backpack you can’t put down or a wet blanket you’re forced to haul.
“Oh yeah, he’s deployed,” your fellow military spouses say you to you. Their eyes twitch with a look of distant understanding. They vaguely remember the weight of the missing, but it’s the kind of thing that’s easy to forget when he comes home and you get to put it down again. But they do remember enough to be concerned. “You doing OK?” they follow.
And in that moment you really are OK -- but not more than that.
The sadness doesn’t hang around all the time -- and it doesn’t keep you from doing normal things, so you’re pretty sure you don’t need help. Your friends, the same ones with the distant memory, have your back and would get you help if you needed it.
What you’re really in the market for is an attitude change.
Some sadness is a normal part of military life. I think being sad that your spouse is gone or working such long hours that he might as well be is almost a GOOD sign in some ways -- wouldn’t you be worried if absence was a relief?
But that doesn’t mean the missing should keep you down. Which is where this week’s quote comes in:
“Sometimes I get sad. Then I stop being sad and start being awesome.” -- Kaye Putnam.Kaye runs Successful Military Wife, one of the most inspiring Facebook page and website I’ve recently run across. When she posted this week’s quote as her page’s Facebook status not long ago it was just the kick in the pants I needed to make the bummer sadness of the day go away.
If you’re feeling sad today, that’s OK. If the sadness is an every day thing that is keeping you from living your normal life, please tell your doctor.
But if all you need is an outlook change, pause, take a deep breath ...
And stop being sad -- and start being awesome.