Our blogger Allie is going through that pesky stay-at-home military wife phase. No, she didn’t stumble into a time machine and wake up in Pleasantville. She just left her job in Washington, D.C. and moved with her Marine husband to rural North Carolina. Even though Allie has done every good, positive, empowering, noble thing we tell spouses to do, she still has lots of empty hours to fill while she is time-rich and cash-poor.
Allie decided to take up ballet. Which is good idea. But we SpouseBuzzers got to thinking that there were lots and lots and LOTS of ways Allie should NOT be spending her Stay-At-Home wife time. Cuz we are helpers. Can you think of other things Allie should avoid
1. Put a blender and a washing machine in your garage and set up a Drive Thru Daiquiri and Washateria.
2. Strip down with a box of naked Tricuits. Think about how far you would go to get a free box all to yourself.
3. Outdo Incredibly Horrible Tattoos by experimenting with your own DIY Tattoo Parlor Kit
4. Learn how to make crab-claw roach clips, tinfoil balls, and crepe-paper moccasins and other crafts from Amy Sedaris.
5. Pretty much follow any advice from Amy Sedaris.
6. Peer through her neighbor’s window and see what they are doing. Offer to join in.
7. Have a birthday party for your dog. Invite everyone from the command.
8. Check to see if there is anything in her fridge. Check again. Wear a groove in your kitchen floor between the couch and the fridge checking her fridge. Eat something so there is more room for a chocolate kangaroo cake to magically appear.
9. Shop for any of these things to wear to her next military homecoming.
10. Create the next great Call Me Maybe spoof video. We have to leave this sort of thing to the professionals.
