Miss Advised: You Can't Have Your Dreams and His, Too?


They’re beautiful, sassy, professional women. They wear the latest fashions and rub elbows with celebrities. They seem to have it all, except for one little thing that they share in common. These women are “relationship experts” who can’t seem to practice the advice they so quirkily preach to their clients. This is the premise of the new Bravo reality television show, Miss Advised.

They might be Miss Advised about military life, too.  In  July 2 episode, “What’s Your Type,” aired. Within the first 10 minutes of the show, Los Angeles dating columnist, Julia Allison, refers to a past relationship with Jack McCain (that would be the same Jack McCain whose father ran for President not so long ago). For those who don’t know, Jack McCain is a helicopter pilot in the military.

While the story line focused more on tabloids and rumors surrounding the relationship than actual military life, what caught my attention was when Julia mentioned the difficult decision she faced when determining whether to pursue a life with a military man or not.

During the episode, she said, “I ultimately had to make a really tough decision. I looked at the life I would have as a military wife and I didn’t think that I could fulfill my dreams and also have him fulfill his.”

… and Julia’s dreams were unquestionably ambitious. She has written for Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, been a guest commentator on MSNBC, Headline News, Fox News, CNN and MTC, and served as a columnist for amNewYork; and now she has added reality TV show star to the repertoire.

So I wondered … could Julia have continued to thrive in such a well-established career if she had stayed with McCain? Though we will never know how her situation may have turned out, what about the thousands of other career-minded women who are married to service members?  Can we follow our dreams, or should we admit defeat? Can we have both if we truly desire it?

As the owner of a business built on the notion that we all have natural gifts and skills to offer the world, I would like to believe we can.

 Army wife Stacy Swearengen is a Certified Career, Education and Adult Learning Coach http://www.portablecareerplanning.com who specializes in helping military spouses and girlfriends develop portable careers by first identifying their passion. 

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