But What if There Was Spouse Rank?


While making a recent daily scan of the internet I came across an article on a controversial Pentagon proposal that spouses be assigned rank. (Warning, there is some language in the article).

I realized pretty quickly this article (and website) is 100 percent satire -- all the articles are fake and there to poke fun at some issues and show how ridiculous certain things can be. The article made me smile and shake my head and I got a good chuckle out of it.

They said the idea was spawned after an incident where an officer's wife was upset when she was not saluted at the gate (again, satirical). She raised such a stink, the article said, that the command developed their spouse rank plan. The overall idea is that spouses would wear their servicemember's rank and, instead of complaining to the normal command when something happens that they don't like, they would have their own command chain with whom to air grievances. Spouse ranks would begin with S-1 (Spouse Recruit) and ascend to S-9 (Chief Master Spouse) and then the actual chain of command would be left completely alone. No more crazy spouses at their doors demanding more BAH and less field time, no more campfires singing koombaya... you get the picture.

How can you not giggle at that a little?

And then I read the comments section.

Instead of realizing that this funny but ridiculous plan was satire, many readers thought the proposal was genuine. And reactions ranged from irrational outrage to people fully on board with the "plan". Most commenters began raising hell about how they would never in a million years salute another spouse or show them that needed level of respect. Personally, I think respect should be granted to any other spouse you encounter, whether it is the general's wife or the wife of a guy who just got out of boot camp, but I think that should go without saying.

Although if we were to get rank, I have to agree with a commenter on the article: I bet we would come up with a rocking salute to use.

Now, this is just for fun people, how do you think a military spouse rank system would differ from the military itself? I don't want to start a comment war by any means, this is purely for entertainment value.

No need to comment on how we don't earn rank and power hungry spouses don't need any more ideas. We all know the truth and the downsides, but play a little here. You are now a ranked spouse. What would be your main initiative? Do you have an idea for a rocking salute? How would you want to contribute to the hierarchy? Would there be an SOCS (Spouse Officer Candidate School) for those who want to continue on?

I know we have lots of creative people on this site ... what would you do?

Edit: The Duffel Blog's site is down. They know about it. We know about it. And everyone is sad. They're working on it.

Edit again: Duffel is back! You may now go about your lives.

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