What Is It Like To Be The Girlfriend?


Breanna describes herself as “the girlfriend/fiancee/unofficial wife” of a young guy in the Air Force.  Her boyfriend Matthew is deploying for the first time this year.  He is cool about it.  Breanna is not.

In a recent note Breanna wrote, “I’m worried more about what might happen than about what actually will happen.” She is also concerned about the logistics of the deployment.

“Whatever you call me, I am not the official dependent of my grunt,” Breanna wrote.  “It causes a lot of problems when I go on or off of base. I always get hassled by the men on security at the main gate, no matter the fact that I am heading on to the base simply for an FRG meeting.”

The fact that Breanna is going to an FRG meeting makes me love her. In fact, I’m a big fan of any military boyfriend or girlfriend who gets involved with the command during a deployment. I think that shows some common sense -- as well as a whole lot of courage.

Yet is that enough to get through a deployment? I’m not sure. While I know a lot about deployment in general, I don’t know anything about being a girlfriend or boyfriend or fiancée during deployment.  How do you stay in touch with the command if you aren’t the official family member? Are other family members nice to you or are you left out? What’s the best way to deal with the gate guard question? What’s your advice for girlfriends and boyfriends of our deploying service members?

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