Mustache March


  • Team player.
  • Taking one for the team.
  • There is no "i" in "team".
All great sayings centered around working as one united front.

But sometimes...well, sometimes there should be exceptions.  For instance, check out the month of March in the Air Force, or Mustache March.  Mustache March is a tradition that continues to inspire men to forego their razors (and subsequently carnal knowledge of their wives) to be a team player.

We can blame thank the late legendary fighter pilot, Brigadier General Robin Olds, for this annual phenomenon.  Olds was known for the decidedly non-regulation mustache he sported during his days in Vietnam.  It was common among airmen to grow such a stache, but Olds also used his as a mark of individuality, a concept also decidedly non-regulation.

Upon returning home, he learned that not everyone was  fan of his individuality.  When he reported to an interview with Air Force Chief of Staff General John P. McConnell, McConnell reportedly walked up to Olds, stuck a finder under his nose and said, "Take it off."  Wisely, Olds replied, "Yes, sir."  Why none of this appears on his official Air Force bio is beyond me.

So each March finds pilots, the deployed, and airmen everywhere who want to display their inner Magnum P.I.,  showing military solidarity by a symbolic and good-natured protest against Air Force facial hair regulations.  Two years ago our household fell victim to this tradition.  My husband just loooves a competition and he won "Best Mustache" as voted by his peers.  His plaque reads:

With Great Mustache Comes Great Responsibility

Wives who are currently suffering through this month of madness have kicked around ideas of what would happen, say, if we decided not to shave our armpits in protest of the protest. Armpit April has a nice ring to it.  But, being women and sensical about such things, we quickly realize that things heat up in the month of April,  and shaggy pits and tank tops just won't mix.

We women don't get it, and frankly, don't think that is the intention.  The men complain about their mustaches, yet line up each year to see who looks more like Wyatt Earp or John Holmes by months end.  It is their inner little-boy having fun.   So if you are suffering through this month with a man who is growing a mustache, for your sake, I hope he wins "Best in Show" and not "Most Disturbing".

Go Team.

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