SpouseBuzz

Pre-Deployment "Grumps"

Do you ever get extra grumpy in the few weeks or days before your spouse deploys?  I sure do!  Every time my husband deploys I get grumpy and have a really hard time controlling it.  I get really irritable, little things drive me crazy, and I have a hard time being "close" to my husband.  It's a protective coping mechanism and I am fully aware of it.  But it's so hard to control!

A little over a month ago my husband transferred to a different unit.  We knew he would deploy at some point after the transfer (the unit was already deployed), but I was not expecting him to come home on the second day of inprocessing to tell me he was leaving 10 days later.  I was so not ready for that piece of news!  I got grumpy real quick.  My husband and I were both very aware of my grumpiness and I tried really hard not to be grumpy.  I just wasn't ready.  I thought I was ready, but I wasn't.

DH didn't leave 10 days later.  He left 14 days later.  He walked into my office at work one morning and said,

DH:  Honey, you need to come home.

Me:  Why?  Are you leaving tomorrow? (Tears began welling in my eyes)

DH:  No.  Tonight.

Me:  WHAT?!?!?!?!!?  (And the tears began to flow)

We had a good day together before he left that night.  It was difficult to tell our kids when they got home from school.  And I didn't get grumpy.  I didn't have time to get grumpy.

I have to say I actually prefer the quick good-bye.  Like I said, we knew he would be leaving "soon," but not having the lead time to get grumpy was kinda nice.

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