The Uniform Crisis

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On most days, I think men have an advantage in the getting-dressed category. They can do it far more quickly than most of us, and I envy them for it. But there are days -- granted they're few and far between -- when I am thrilled with the fact that I have it easier than my husband in the getting-dressed department.

Like last night.

My husband and I have to attend a formal gathering this evening. As we know, formal in this line of work doesn't mean a tuxedo, but a dress uniform. And that means about two hours or so of setting up the uniform. The trusty rulers come out and the room in which the uniform is betting set up looks like a tornado hit it as there are pins and ribbons and shoes and hats and various other items strewn about.

My husband has done this for over 20 years now, so one would think that he would have it down to a science. But no, inevitably we have a crisis. And inevitably, the crisis occurs the night before the big formal. Which means there is little wiggle room if we have to run out to clothing sales at the eleventh hour.

And, of course, we do.

We've just come off the PCS move from hell (much more on this later), and my husband had the foresight to get his new unit pin as soon as he arrived at the duty station. Off to a great start! But the problem came when he forgot where he put the pin. The container which houses two decades worth of ribbons and buttons and pins was devoid of the new pin, which resulted in the two of us going on a tear through the house (which still contains unpacked boxes) looking for the newly-purchased pin late last night. My husband had just arrived home from TDY and I had just arrived home from a three-day drive after returning to the old duty station to get my vehicle and bring it to our new duty station. We were both bone-tried and the last thing either of us wanted, or needed, was a dilemma.

But we had one. We did not find the pin.

So for the upteenth time, one of us will be at clothing sales today and we will be praying as we enter the store that the one item we need is in stock. And I'm certain that as soon as we arrive home from the formal we will find the pin. No doubt it will be hiding in plain sight. Why, oh why, do we always have a uniform crisis?

On the bright side, I get to see my handsome husband in his dress uniform tonight, so there's that...

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