Like Childbirth, You Forget the Pain


A couple of weeks ago I was talking with my sister-in-law about the horrors surrounding a PCS move when my husband made an utterly outrageous comment. He said something to the effect of PCS moves being no big deal because you just sit there while the packers and movers do all the work.  Needless to say, I looked at my husband like he was an alien. After I had time to process this rather stunning -- and wildly inaccurate -- pronouncement, it dawned on me that my husband's view of a PCS move is rather skewed at this point, and I know exactly why.

He's simply out of practice.

Two moves ago, my husband's aunt died unexpectedly and I completed the pack and move-out process without him. My husband was deployed during our last move and I moved the house solo. Our upcoming move will follow much the same pattern as my husband has to report two weeks before our pack-out begins. So once again, he will not be present during the pack-and-move process. Many, many years ago, I learned that nothing could challenge a relationship like the stressors of a move. I tend to shoo my husband out of the home while packers and movers are present because there's too many people in the house as it is and we can't get most of the things we need to get done until they have left. It's been a long time since my husband has seen the process from beginning to end, and in its entirety.

What my husband has been present for is the downloading process. With the rare exception here and there, he's almost always present when our household goods are delivered. And what does he see on the back-end of a move? He sees me sitting in a lawn chair beside the moving truck with a bottle of water at my feet and a clipboard in my lap, used for checking off the boxes on the inventory forms as the movers take them off the truck. I'm sitting there because I have to; someone has to make sure our goods are all accounted for. Meanwhile, my husband is busy as a bee trying to unload and break down as many boxes as he can before the movers pull away so they can haul them off for us. In fact, he's as busy on the back-end as I am on the front-end. Why it's no wonder my husband thinks a PCS move is a breeze!

I'm getting super-duper excited about the upcoming PCS. Finally, I'll have time to sit down and read a book while the packers and movers do all the heavy lifting. I.Can't.Wait. I desperately need some down time.


I love my husband dearly, I really do, but I think some retraining is in order. There was a day long, long ago when my husband went through a PCS move or two without me. The memories have clearly faded. I suppose moving is a little like childbirth. Eventually you forget just how painful the process really is. I gotta say, I'm really looking forward to that day....

Show Full Article

Related Topics


Military Spouse Videos

View more