I Don't Want to Impose...


Confession: I hate asking people for help.

I don’t mind helping others out when they need it. Need a ride to the airport? No problem. Need help screwing in a curtain rod? Sure.  Need someone to drive with you to make sure you don’t get murdered when you go to pick up something you bought from Craigslist? I’m your girl (Er... probably. I've never actually had to test my murder prevention skills, but I assume I have them).

But even though I don’t mind doing these things for friends – especially when their husbands are deployed! – the thought of asking someone to do a favor for me makes me cringe. That's why when the oral surgeon told me I’d need a driver with me when I get my wisdom teeth out  next week and that office policy requires the driver to remain in office for the whole hour and a half, I had a moment of panic. It's not enough that I have to ask someone to drive me to and from the appointment, I have to make them sit in the office and wait for me?

My husband is underwater somewhere. My family’s on the other side of the country. So that leaves me with friends: Friends who are pregnant and have toddlers already who I won’t ask to sit in an office for that long. Friends who will be working since it’s going to be a Monday morning. Friends whose husbands just got back from deployments and probably don’t want to spend their free time sitting in an office waiting for me. And anyway, didn't I just ask friends to drive me around a few weeks ago when I had to drop my car off to be serviced?

My husband’s shop calls me once a week to check on me and see if I need anything when he’s deployed. I know that I could call them up and say, “Hey, I need someone to drive me to and from my appointment to get my wisdom teeth out,” and they’d arrange for one of the sailors to do it. But forcing a sailor that I’ve never met to sit for an hour and a half waiting for me and then drive me around when I’m drugged up and probably drooling seems a bit like cruel and unusual punishment... for both of us. Even if I give him cupcakes to take back to the shop as a thank you.

Walking five miles each way is probably out of the question, so I think I’m going to have to just suck it up and impose on someone. But maybe I can call the oral surgeon and get him to make an exception so my driver doesn’t have to be present for the whole time and I can impose just a little less.

Do you have trouble asking people for help when your spouse is deployed?


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