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Snooki's Assailant Joins the Army After Running "Out of Options"

I'm a bit out of my league here. I've never watched an episode of MTV's Jersey Shore. But from what I can piece together, on one webisode, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was punched in the face in a bar by someone named Brad Ferro. Via the New York Post, comes word that poor Brad lost his job as a result of the assault and has had trouble finding employment.

Footage of the assault, released by MTV, circulated widely on the Web but was omitted from the actual Season 1 episode.

Brad Ferro, now 25, was fired from his job as a gym teacher at North Queens Community HS, where he taught troubled kids, once the episode aired in December 2009.

He pleaded guilty to one charge of simple assault, paid a $500 fine and served six months' probation.

Not to fear, though. There's always the military. After all, they'll take anyone...
Ferro, meanwhile, was forced to move in with his grandmother this winter after his unemployment insurance ran out.

<snip>

After realizing he was out of options, Brad decided to join the military, training, his dad said, as a Cavalry Scout -- part of the specialized reconnaissance unit that is among the first behind enemy lines.

His conviction on a misdemeanor wasn't a hindrance. Since 2007, the US military has been forced to recruit even hard-core felons to replenish dwindling combat troops.

Ferro left for basic training in Fort Knox, Ky., last month. His father hopes that no one on base recognizes his son.

"He lost his career and his pride and everything else," his dad said. "But he's getting it back. You can't keep a good man down for too long."

Hitting a woman is not cool, under any circumstance. But that's not what this post is about. It's not about Brad or Snooki or reality television. I'm sure you understand why this piece left a bad taste in my mouth. The article leaves the impression that the military is full of undesirables who joined because they were out of options, and paints a picture of a desperate military scraping the bottom of the barrel because recruiting is so difficult. Really? Needless to say, there are plenty of people who join the military for noble reasons.

There's good news for dead-enders everywhere - the military will always be here for you. Come one, come all. You too can join this wacky community of "hard-core felons," victimized members of society, non-society contributing folks, horrible role models and perpetually-cheating couples. It's a win-win!

Maybe we could take the show on the road...

Bangs.Head.Against.Wall.

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