I Love You - Go Away


Ah, we have reached the part of the holiday break where I am really feeling the loss of my personal time.  On a normal day, my husband leaves for work as I am getting out of bed, and I put my kids on the school bus around 7 am.  I might have a ton of things to do, but I do them alone until shortly after 3 when the kids return from school.

It hasn't always been this way, of course.  For 9 years, I had one or two or three or four children home with me, all the time.  I was constantly surrounded by people who needed to talk to me, and touch me, and just be near me.  As I've gradually packed them off to the public school system, my  amount of alone time has continually increased until I'm just not used to being surrounded by kids All The Time.

I know there are mothers who hate it when their kids leave for school, and look eagerly forward to the moment when they come home afternoon.  I love my children dearly, but I enjoy being alone.  Alone is a nice place for me, and I'm quite accustomed to having several hours of solitude every day.

As much as I love my family, I'm not very good at being with them, every hour of every day, for weeks at a time.   It is starting to show.  Yesterday, I asked my husband if he could please take them with him when he went to the Exchange.  Today, I must have been getting a little snappy because people started doing chores without being asked.

School resumes tomorrow.  I know that the morning will be challenging, as we've taken to this holiday break and enjoying sleeping late.  Once we get everyone on the bus, however, I'm going to enjoy a little quiet and recharge my parenting batteries.  To my children:  I love you.  Now go to school.

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