SpouseBuzz

Superpowers

A couple of years ago I wrote a post where everyone had to describe themselves in exactly six words. Mine was, "I have not yet been arrested."

It's still true. Barely.

Anyway, something Guard Wife said awhile ago got me thinking. It seems Guard Wife has this amazing ability, and really I would call it a super-power, to always choose the best and juiciest watermelon from the supermarket. And in summer, especially a truly yucky summer like this one, I think that superpower is an amazing one to have.

So, I got to wondering...

If that's Guard Wife's superpower, what's mine? I'm operating under the assumption that we all have one. Andi certainly does - she can tastefully and professionally decorate a house using only materials found at the curb during PCS season and three gallons of paint from the sale bin at Lowe's.

And I think Wife Unit's superpower is the most interesting. She can curse so poetically, masterfully, and with such situation appropriateness that it leaves me in tears of awe. It's definitely a beautiful thing to see, and comes in quite handy in a military environment.

Semper Fi Wife's super-power is the most handy, I think. Name any situation and she can rattle off a string of military charities devoted to solving that problem. It's like listening to Rain Man talk about Qantas airlines, except that her super-power isn't her only socially intriguing talent. And I don't think she buys her underwear at Kmart, either.

But me? That's a hard one. I love boxing, but I'm no Layla Ali. And my cursing has nothing on the pure poetry that Wife Unit can let fly. It can't be parenting, because my kids are... interesting. To say the least.

I think that my superpower is to always be 15 degrees off. Just a little, but definitely noticeable. Like, everyone else is wearing polka dots and I'll be wearing tie dye. Also, if I'm flying somewhere the plane won't crash, but the toilet closest to my seat will bust some kind of seal. That kind of thing. Just enough so that nothing really tragic happens in my life, but it's never dull and boring.

So seeing as I think we all have special super-powers, especially military family members, I'd like to hear yours. Even if you think it's silly, like the ability to make the perfect sandwich (in which case we need to be stationed together), or the extra-super-special-power of being able to magically pack away all your husband's gear so that you don't find your daughter using an old holster to carry around her lip gloss (and if you are that person, we need to talk and I need to take notes).

But if the Seven Degrees game in the military is any indication, we'll all probably be stationed near one another at some time, and it would be great to have a handy list available for future reference. "Your car tire keeps going flat? Oh, you need to talk to Wendy! Her super-power is always choosing tires that last twice their manufacturer's recommended mileage!"

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