SpouseBuzz

Somehow, When I Wasn't Looking, We Became a Team

When I was busy doing the hardest thing I've ever done without my husband, it didn't take long to realize that at some point, my husband and I found our flow as a team over the many years we've been married, and the many moves we've made. For instance, about eight hours before the movers were coming, I realized something - I needed to disconnect all of the components (Direct TV, wii fit, HD receiver, speaker system, etc.) hooked up to the television set. I also needed to disconnect the computer stuff (printers, router, etc.). And what about the grill and the lawnmower?

It's not that I can't do those things. Of course I can. It's just that I didn't even consider those things because they're not usually on my to-do list. I was overwhelmed with all the obvious things that needed to be done that I didn't stop and think about the non-obvious things that my husband generally takes care of.

In the past, we've attacked a move as a team. A silent team. Each of us know our duties and we never discuss them. We just do them.

Among my duties, I separate the things that aren't to be touched by the movers, deal with the various admin tasks, pets and cleaning. My husband drains the lawn mower and other items of gas and oil, disconnects the propane from the grill, disconnects all electronic equipment, etc. You get the idea.

My husband and I don't have children, so I have no experience with what it's like to raise children, but I have to assume that it's like a move in one regard - you work as a team. When my husband is deployed, there are things normally in his domain that fall to me. But barring some freaky-deaky incident, the "things" are usually pretty manageable. This experience left me thinking about mom and dads who are the solo parent when their partner is away. I had to be husband and wife during a DITY move, and that was hard enough. When someone has to be mommy and daddy for months and months on end, the team is split up and there is no yin to the yang, it must be harrowing and overwhelming at times.

Sometimes, we simply move through life knowing things, but not really reflecting on them. Somehow over the years, my husband and I found our flow and became an efficient team. This happened without me noticing it. I didn't truly appreciate that we had met one of the goals of a marriage until I needed my partner and he wasn't there.

I can't wait for my husband to be home. The balance will be restored. The team will be together again. I can share the power tools I've become very familiar with lately! All will be right with the world.

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