From the Mailbag: How Do You Do It?

Reader D needs some advice and support.


My husband is in the Marine Corps Reserves and is preparing for his deployment to Afghanistan in about a month. We don't have kids, unless you count two hopelessly spoiled dogs, so it's not like I will have a family to take care of while he is gone like so many other milspouses here on spousebuzz. But I do have one question:
How in the heck am I supposed to do this?
I feel bad for even asking that, he is the one who actually has to go, but I find myself at a loss. I read this site all the time and have read all the discussions posts on deployment, how you are supposed to feel, the stages that you go through, etc. I know I signed up for this, I married a Marine and knew this was going to be a part of the deal. Each time we talk about it all I can manage to do is cry. I lived on my own just fine before I met him, and now I feel like I won't be able to function without him here. He asked me the other night what I would feel was missing with him not being here and all I could say was that I would be missing half of my heart. I want, and know, that I need to be strong for him so that he can focus on the mission and not worry about me. I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to do that.
I think D will find she's much stronger than she thinks she is. The build-up to departure day can wreak havoc on your nerves and, for me, is not the preferred method of saying good-bye.

Words of advice for D?


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