SpouseBuzz

Not On the Same Page

Guard Wife wrote a month ago about missed messages, and at the time I didn't have anything to add in the comments. But I do now!

My husband and I have still been working on a middle name for our baby. He wanted one and I wanted another. Neither of us has wanted to be pushy. And sowe have a recurring 3-min conversation on the phone, each laying out ourcase and then deciding to "keep thinking about it." We've been doingthis for months. I was starting to get nervous that she'd be born and he wouldn't be home yet, and I would have to decide at the hospital whether to pick his choice or mine...

Yesterday I got some sage advice from a friend and started to see the situation in a whole new light. I decided that my husband's choice was a sweet one and I would be happy with it. So I wrote him an email telling him what I'd decided and how I was now happy to go with his choice.

He wrote back this morning; he had no idea I really wanted the other idea. It seems he thought I just threw it out there as a suggestion, not that I really liked it or had been gunning for it all this time.

Sigh.

It's funny how I thought it was obvious that I was advocating for this one name without trying to sound pushy, but it wasn't obvious at all to him.

And this could put us back at square one, but I think I will still defer to his name...

But seriously, all this time I thought he was really pushing hard for his choice. Turns out he just thought it was the default because we didn't have anything better.

This is why it's too hard to do this apart...

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