Militarese to English FAIL


When Air Force Guy came home on R & R it was great. He came bearing gifts (yay! early Christmas!) and he came bearing illness.

AFG always comes home from deployment bearing some kind of illness to pass around the house. We like to call it "The Crud". Specifically, we call it the "Wherever-He-Was Crud." So far we've passed around the Iraq Crud, the Korea Crud, the Afghanistan Crud and some kind of weird sneezing-with-cold-shivers thing we assumed was the Greenland Crud.

We also all got sick when he got home from an extended training in Georgia. I assume that was the Georgia version of The Crud.

So, I'm sure you're a little perplexed here. "But airforcewife!" you're saying. "We ALL know about The Crud! The Crud happens to nearly everyone at least once! It's a part of the post deployment detox!" And yes, I understand that. We all know about The Crud, even if we don't all call it The Crud. We've had enough experience with it to understand what someone is talking about when they are discussing The Crud.

I'd like to put forth right now that not everyone knows about The Crud. In fact, some people may get entirely the wrong idea about it.

Like, for instance, the person in my neighborhood to whom I mentioned the most recent Air Force Family Crud bout in passing conversation.

Neighbor: So, AFG is home now? Is he home for very long? How's everyone doing?

Me: Yes, he's home for a couple weeks. It's been great, although he did manage to infect me yet again with The Afghanistan Crud.

Neighbor: *complete silence*

Neighbor: *mouth falls open*

Me: I don't think I meant what you thought I meant.

Luckily for us, this turn with The Crud didn't last as long as previous bouts (maybe we're building an immunity?). The kids had a 48 hour run from first small signs of infection to completely well again. Mine was a little longer - it took about a week to run its course. I think the extra time involved for me was probably related to my absolute horror when I realized what the neighbor thought The Crud was - some kind of defensive mechanism to prove I was really sick and it was a *chest congestion* and not something else.

Also, I'm thinking we may just need to re-christen The Crud to something more socially acceptable. Like, "Non Social Disease Post Deployment Detox Condition." Or something.

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