SpouseBuzz

Blue Christmas

The Dark Prince is deployed now. We're about 5 weeks into his deployment and things are kind of calming down here. Kind of.

Even though I'm over the craptacular specialness of the first month of deployment, there's another hurdle I must deal with: Christmas.

I am not the biggest fan of this holiday only because my children are older and don't believe in Santa anymore. It tends to take some of the joy out ofit for me even though Santa is not really the reason for the season.

With the Dark Prince deployed, I find myself especially down this holiday season. I really don't want to decorate. I really don't want to go to Christmas parties. We got our Christmas tree last night and I still haven't put any ornaments or lights on. Perhaps tonight. Or tomorrow. I don't know.

I was in the grocery store today and all of a sudden, "I'll be Home for Christmas" started playing. My daughter may never go out with me again until the holidays are over. I lost it. I didn't even see that coming!!! Sheesh!!

I'm doing all the things I know I ought to. I just finished shipping almost 400 stuffed stockings to deployed Marines in Afghanistan. I try to focus outward and keep a positive attitude about things. I know this funk will pass but it is just a struggle right now. If I could get away with canceling Christmas this year, I would do it in a New York minute.

I can't do that. The twins and Lancelot deserve to have a Christmas and more importantly, they deserve to have a happy one. So, in the very wise words of my friend, Homefront Six, I am going to fake it 'til I make it.

I know that I'm not the only person with loved ones deployed over the holidays. Are any of you feeling like this? What are you doing to get by this time of year? Have you had one of those "I lost it" moments? Tell me what you're doing over the holidays.

Inquiring minds really do want to know.

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