Semper Fi Wife revealed the existence of the following YouTube video to me, and I've been laughing about it ever since. My children are even singing parts of it around the house.
I'd like to add something else you should not say to your wife - the military spouse version, "Honey, guess what! I was issued ANOTHER SET OF BODY ARMOR! Yay!"
Or how about, "You know dear, I know we had been set to go to Hawaii, but my orders came today and they were actually for Minot in North Dakota."
Things you don't say to your wife, indeed.