'Magazines' Has Two Definitions


Before my husband deployed, he decided that one thing he'd like to spend his own money on was PMAGs, polymer magazines for his rifle. He was excited about buying these, and it was fun to see him enjoying his new toy.

My mother called that day and I was telling her about the errands we'd run, and how happy my husband was that he bought new PMAGs. Then I realized she wouldn't know what that meant, so I tried to clarify by saying he'd gotten P-Magazines. My mom doesn't know guns, but I thought that by now, after being an enthusiastic military mother-in-law for seven years, she would recognize the word 'magazine' to mean 'ammo cartridge.'

A few days later, my mother gingerly brought up the fact that I had been so nonchalant about my husband buying porn magazines.

Oh good heavens.

Never in a million years did I imagine that PMAGs could've been interpreted as pornography.

And thank goodness my mother was brave enough to ask for clarification!

AWTM cracked up when I told her the story; she said she could just imagine what my mother had been thinking in the interim, while she thought I had dutifully gone with my husband to pick out porn for him to take with him on deployment. My mom laughed and said, "Well, I sure thought you were an awful understanding and supportive wife!"

When militarese goes bad, it goes very bad indeed...

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