Dear Somebody...

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Hi, Semper Fi Wife here and I just wanted to drop you a line and introduce myself. I have been hearing about you for years and years.


It all started when my kids were very small...


I was often greeted in the salad days with announcements from my kids about you:


"Mom, Somebody left the refrigerator door open!!"


"Mom, Somebody blocked the cat's litter box!!"


"Mom, Somebody ate all the cookies you bought today!!"


"Mom, Somebody forgot to flush the toilet!!"


Oh..Somebody!! You started off as a minorannoyance. You were careless and always made me want to ask,"Were you raised in a barn?"


As my kids got older, your actions got more annoying and more expensive:


"Mom, Somebody left my calculus textbook out and the sprinklers ruined it. It costs $80 to replace..can you please write me a check?"


"Mom, Somebody put a dent in your car!!" (I won't lie..that one made me swear!!)


"Mom, Somebody stole my iPod." (Okay, that was totally not your fault..we found it in Dark Prince's room months later)


Somebody, I have to confess that I thought that your actions were just confined to my family but Sunday, you decided to extend your sphere of influence to include my nonprofit organization's fishing event.


Somebody, why..oh why did you tell some of my attendees that the event was cancelled when it really wasn't? It's funny that you are so not memorable that nobody can describe you to me. It's funny that you are never very good with the facts too.


Somebody better watch out or they're going to get a well deserved Marine wife beatdown. Somebody's been asking for it for years.


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