Can't You Act More Torn?


My husband's dedication and wholeheartedness are qualities that I admire most about him. When he does something, he does it fully. That especially goes for his job, which he takes very seriously. It's one of the things I love most about him, one of the things that drew me to him in the first place, but sometimes it is a hard quality for me to accept.

My husband is the type of man who goes in to work over block leave.

On one level, I understand this. His job is life-and-death, and he wants to be as prepared as possible before he leaves. And some documents can only be accessed over secure networks, so that's where he has to be in order to do his studying and reading. And sometimes it's hard to do all the reading he wants to do during work hours when there are other tasks that need to be done.

I get this. On one level.

But on another level, I just want him to stay home. He's at work often enough when he's required to be there, for pete's sake, without going in on his days off. Not to mention that he will be permanently at work for the next nine months! I selfishly want him to be able to turn off his Work Brain and turn on his Vacation Brain, to be so caught up in being with me and having a good time that he doesn't want to go in to work and leave me back at the house.

Or at least I want him to act more torn when he stands up after lunch and announces that he's heading to work for a few hours.

I am so proud of him for taking his job so seriously, I really am. I should probably be relieved that the only work he did while we were on vacation was read Buzkashi and study some Pashto. I want him to feel prepared and mentally focused when he leaves. I want him to be successful.

I just also want to savor every last minute I have with him before he leaves.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. After all, I married the man who told me on Valentine's Day that he'd rather be deployed!

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