Because you might be headed on the road... (warning, do not read if you have a weak stomach)


2 years ago I drove half way across the country to visit DH, who was at one of the Army's infamous schools. What could have been a simple drive, proved to be otherwise.

However the story proves 3 things. Dramamine can solve big problems, never buy an expensive handbag, and military spouses always have the best adventures EVER. Hold it, make that 4 things, portable movie players are the devil.

So with almost EVERYONE i know either PCS'ing, traveling, or just on the road, I thought I would offer the following. This is from my personal archives. It is also worth at least a full house in a weak game of military wife poker.

I really have apparently spoke too often and too well of how well my children "The Collective" travel.

Because as with all things that you boast about, it has quickly come to an end.

Whichreally is a lesson I should have learned somewhere in my almost 37years on this planet. SHHH never boast when things are going well. Lifelesson #12.

The trip to Fort Benning (about 10 hours), turnedinto about 12 or 13, about an hour away from DH Friday night. Why youask? Well it seems as thought Pink Ninja was suffering from motionsickness. It started with a "Momma my tummy is upset." I thought, wellsure it is, we have been sitting in a car, and snacking. So I told her,to hang on for an hour, and we would meet up with Daddy soon.

"Puke" followed by crying.........

Itis dark out, and I am in Alabama headed east on a winding road. I pullover, change her clothes, clean what puke I can out of the truck, withwhat is available.

"Puke" followed by more crying.............

It is still dark, I change her clothes, clean out the car, pile about 7 paper towels under her chin, beg her to puke in a cup.

"Puke" followed by crying..........

The truck smells like puke she is crying.

I want to cry.

The phone rings.

It is DH.

DH: "where are you guys?"

AWTM: "Yeah, I am cleaning puke off of PN, can you hear her crying?"

DH: "When will you cross the river?"

AWTM: "I have no freaking clue, I want to poke my eyes out right now, I am driving as fast as I can, she is sick. "

This"puke" scenario continued for the rest of the drive to Fort Benning.Which despite being an hour away took like 2 1/2 extra hours with allof the cleaning and consoling.

When we met with DH, both kidsseemed well after getting cleaned up. We of course had to run to thegrocery store to get some woolite upholstery cleaner, laundry detergentetc. As the truck was not the most pleasent to ride in at this point.

OKthe trip was fine after all of this, a pleasant weekend was spent at acabin out in the middle of nowhere by Uchee Creek. No one was sick, allwas well.

UNTIL........This "puke" scenario played out again today while. driving from Fort Benning to Asheboro, NC today. LOVERLY I know.

This time it was I85 North headed to Atlanta, lunch rush hour. This time it was both of The Collective.

PN: "Momma my tummy hurts"

AWTM: "Do you need to go poopy?"

PN: "no, puke......cry...."

AWTM:I pull over, clean PN off, unsnap her car seat latch, and hold herwhilst she pukes all over herself, me, and my poor coach purse.

PN: "crying....puke....cry...puke"

AWTM: grabbing clean clothes out of the suitcase for both of us.

We all go to the bathroom, change, and clean up.

AWTM: I call the pediatrician, tell her I suspect motion sickness. She agrees. SO while driving through Atlanta, during lunch rush, I am trying toscout out a Walgreens, or a Lamarck, an Osco. Some place that willcarry Dramamine for children.

Sir Rowland: "Mom, I don't feel good."


Sir Rowland: puke.......cry...

PN: puke cry...........

Sir Rowland: puke ...cry

Pink Ninja: cry puke

Sir Rowland: puke....cry....

AWTM: stopping, and rinsing clothes, and changing clothes, and cleaning puke like I have 8 arms.

The puking and crying went on for 4 public bathrooms, and 3 gas stations, 5 clothing changes.

I found a publix. I found Dramamine, and ginger ale. .....and gave to The Collective.



It seems as though, The Collective have inherited my predisposition to motion sickness.

I cannot read in a car, I do not passenger well, I cannot ride on anything that goes round and round...

TheCollective, cannot watch the new "movie players" and ride. I think thisis the problem. Normally.....without tv, they ride grandly. However, Iam guessing watching these screens is causing them to be ill.

Dramamine did help, no more complaints, or nausea for the remainder of the 6 hour trip....

butfor about 2 hours today I wished myself far away, from the road trip,and the puke, and all else that is Motherhood. Who would have thoughtthese portable movie players, that every suburban Mother has sangpraises about, would cause such chaos?

Oh and the dramamine, will be going into my purse, as a permanent "item" just like lipstick.....

Show Full Article

Related Topics


Military Spouse Videos

View more