In Which airforcewife Declares War and Reaps the Whirlwind


I know I mentioned that some nasty bit of germ warfare has been making its rounds through Air Force Family. Over and over and over again.

Making a lot of rounds.

Well, because I have a lot of things to do (family coming to visit, cookie mom for one daughter's Girl Scout troop, various other activities), on Saturday I declared war on those germs and decided to eradicate them from my house. I was SO DONE. Done, I tell you!

However, someone forgot to tell the germs.

I ran to Tar-zhey and spent a pretty penny on the Clorox wipies specifically formulated for killing viruses and bacteria. I bought can after can of Lysol anti-flu spray. I brought them home and commenced to wreak germ devastation on a straight path through my entire house.

I wipied every surface. I sprayed after wiping. I washed all the linen and sprayed what I could not wash.

In short, I put William Tecumseh Sherman to shame in my assault upon the germ world.

By the end of Saturday I felt like I had accomplished something. My house was clean, it should have been germ free. And since the family wasn't showing up to visit until Tuesday (today), I figured I had more than enough time finish the bathroom I had pulled apart for repainting and re-flooring two weeks ago.

The bathroom, you see, had been stalled in development while I dealt with sick children.

On Sunday morning I woke up begging Air Force Guy to put me out of my misery. Apparently all the germs I had roused from their entrenched positions on door handles, toilet seats, banisters, and the refrigerator door had taken up residence in my nose. I was alternating between being unable to breathe and having sneezes shoot out my nose with enough force to put a Hellfire missile to shame. And interspersed among sneezing fits were those horrible moments when my nose would start tingling and my eyes would start watering like I was going to sneeze, but the sneeze never really happened.

To add insult to injury, it seems that any medicine on the market is meant to either treat the sneezing or treat the congestion. Since, according to the fine pharmacist I encountered, "It's impossible to have both of those symptoms at the same time!"

Which is why this morning, less than 10 hours from my family's arrival (I haven't seen my Grandmother for a year and a half), I was laying bathroom linoleum upstairs. In my underwear, because I was doing laundry at the same time.

And what was probably most striking is that my kids (who are now all well with the exception of a lingering cough) didn't seem to find anything unusual about this state of affairs.

I hope this means that they are just well adjusted and able to deal with upheaval and not that I've ruined them for normal.

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