SpouseBuzz

From the Mailbag: Decisions, Decisions

How timely that thisemail came in:

I am getting married soon to a wonderful man who just completed 6 years of service in the Air Force. We reunited when he got out in January 2008 and are now engaged and planning to be married early in 2009. I have never been involved in the military life before and don't have any friends who are. We have done some talking and he is considering enlisting back into the Air Force once we are married. I would like to hear some advice from other military wives and anyone who knows both lifestyles. He says its up to me whether he does or not, because once he signs that paperwork we're in for at least 4 years. He's explained some things to me, but things from his point of view are different then I would imagine a military wife's point of view would be.I want to know the good, bad, and ugly.... it's an important decision that will change our lives.I really appreciate it. So thanks to anyone who gives me testimonials or advice.

For two reasons...

First, I had a conversation several weeks ago with two milspouses, oneof whom argued that not everyone is cut out for this life. I've been meaning to write about it, but haven't gotten around to it. It's a complex subjectand the discussion was lively and interesting. I truly wish I had it on tape. I want to revisit this later, give it proper context and get your opinions. Butfor now, I will add something that came out of the conversation. Something I think almost all of us can agree on is that you truly do not knowwhat you're getting into when you marry into the military. Our lives are unpredictable. They hinge on world events, something that none of us can control.That, I think, is somethingevery new milspouse shouldknow going in.

Second, I think this is a good time to hear your stories. I'd love to knowhow the transition was for you.Did you embrace milspousedom from the start? Was it an easy adjustment for you, or a tough one?Any regrets?

Nobody can tell our emailer what she should do. We don't know her circumstances or family dynamic, and in the end, we all have to do what's right for our ownfamilies. However, she asked for the good, bad and ugly, and that we can deliver, based on our own varied perspectives. So, let's hear it....

And by the way, we're about to welcome another gal into the milspouseclub. Someone who has contributed here and engaged us in conversation for many months now. Congratulations are in order! And I'll be watching her closely because I know she has several milspouse blogger friends and has been an avid reader of milspouse blogs for a while now. I'm anxious to see if any of that prepared her for the real thing. My guess is she'll say no because nothing, and I mean nothing, can prepare one for shopping at the commissary on payday. Heh.

Speaking of significant others, I'dlove to know how you approach this topic. What are you looking at when deciding whether or not you want to marry amilitary man?

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