When I ask my fellow wives "how are things going?", when their loved one returns from battle. I am not trying to uncover any gossip or dirt.
I seriously want to know.
When my DH came home, he seemed quieter, more contemplative, didn't seem to require much sleep, and well it took a while for us to learn our new dance.
I really am concerned about my peers as a community.
Reintegration to me, was much more difficult than the deployment. Most of that was internal as well. I did not know how to manage my expectations. My DH was really thrilled about being home, his safe place, we were what he went to bed dreaming about.
But the expectations that we build, can cripple that.
I always think it is imperative that I ask my friends, and peers how they managed to come together again as a family.
And although I find some of the advice, and stories helpful to me, I always think they need to be heard on a grander scale. We are the best resource for one another.
When I ask some folks "so how is it going?", and I hear "fine". I am thrilled, but I always want to know what the secret is.
Because things are not always fine immediately for everyone.
I would love to hear how our readers managed reintegration. Did you just take your time, and fumble through, did you need the assistance of a Chaplain? Maybe you went on a marriage retreat? What advice would you give a new wife?