SpouseBuzz

Okay, Now This is Getting Ridiculous

I've spoken about the moving process, as has armywifetoddlermom, fairly frequently and with quite a few adjectives not acceptable on family-type blogs.  The process stinks, even if I do love to go new places.

A few weeks ago in the chatroom during a SpouseBUZZ Radio show, I got some great tips about how to pack the gear Air Force Guy has left behind from the lovely Butterfly Wife and her very helpful husband Jack Bauer. 

The problem, you see, is body armor.

Remember the beginning of the war in Iraq when there were so many reports of body armor shortages?  You know, before The Great Dragon Skin War of 2007.  Well I think I have figured out what the problem was.

You see, there was no body armor available BECAUSE AFG HAD IT ALL IN OUR BASEMENT.  Well, we didn't have a basement at that time, but I think you get the idea.  I never realized how much body armor a person could have.

When Butterfly Wife and Jack Bauer gave me packing tips (because being bullet proof does not mean it is airforcewife-proof), I had located two sets of body armor that seem, to my untrained eye, to be enough to outfit a Star Wars Storm Trooper.  How people can walk with that much ceramic plating on them (plus other gear!) is totally beyond me, but just looking at it makes me want to put together another 100 CARE packages to show my support.

Today I started the final run of packing.  Guess what I found.  No - not a pot of gold.  I found ANOTHER set of body armor. I have no idea where it came from and AFG is adament that he has only two.  Well, I can tell you there are three here, although this third one doesn't seem to have as many pieces as the others!  I guess if we ever experience another body armor shortage all we need to do is put a few complete sets in a dark closet so they can get busy and make baby body armor sets.  And perhaps we need body armor birth control for those of us who have decided we can't really afford any more body armor in our family.

Also, just how many harnesses does one man need?  I can't even keep count of how many I've packed so far.  In fact, every time I think I've gotten everything gear related put away, I'll find another harness on a shelf somewhere.

I also discovered that my third daughter (the evil blond one) was using an old holster to store her lipgloss and nail polish.  She had it threaded onto a Hannah Montana belt she was given two birthdays ago.  Does this mean that she is facing a future of rapidly multiplying tactical gear?  I think it's a hint. 

I'm not done packing yet - I should finish up this weekend.  I just might take bets on how many more sets of body armor I will find in this house. 

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