Heavy Chats


This evening while my husband and I were instant messaging, I had a surreal thought.  I realized that we have saved IMs of conversations that a husband and wife should never have to have via typing.  We have chats filled with sadness over the miscarriage I had back in June, and the one before it.  We have chats about our fears for the next pregnancy.  And now that I have started fertility treatments and am trying to get pregnant here without him, we have chats about what we will feel if this doesn't work...or if it works like crazy and we end up with three babies.

We have some pretty heavy chats.

And part of me just finds this fundamentally sad, that we have to use such an impersonal method to discuss some of the most emotional and intimate aspects of our life.  It's the nature of being a military family these days, and most of the time I just IM away without really thinking about it, but as we were chatting today and kinda re-living some of the moments in the emergency room last year, I just had the thought that this really should be a conversation we get to sit on the same sofa for.

But at least we have the IM so we can have the conversation at all.

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