Step Children


When I was little, I never dreamed of being a step mom. (Did anyone?)

However, when I knew that Scout was the man I was going to marry, it didn't matter to me that he had a daughter. I knew that my goal with Scout Jr would be to make her feel like she had won the Step Mom Lottery. Looking back, I was extremely naive; being a step mom is a cakewalk, but being a good step mom is challenging.

I feel like the military makes our situation a little more complicated. We don't get to see Scout Jr all that often for a combination of reasons (cough), but for the sake of argument, let's just say it's mostly because the Army has taken us to places pretty far away from her.

My biggest struggle is this: How do I balance fun with basic rules? I don't want her to feel like she has to walk into our house and automatically transform into someone else (particularly if she's not here all that often). I want her to relax and have a good time (but not at the expense of my sanity). Ya know what I mean?

For example, I cannot tell you how many times I repeat myself on a daily basis:

Scout Jr, come pick up your socks. Do not perform the Soulja Boy dance while your brother is sleeping! When I tell you, 'go to bed,' it is not a suggestion, it is a direct order. I don't know where your other flip flop is; if you'd clean up after yourself, you'd know! Flush the toilet! Don't slam doors, please. No, you've already had an ice cream today - eat a piece of fruit!

Is that all normal? I have no idea! Am I being too hard on her, or am I expecting what most moms or step moms would expect?

I'd be really interested to hear from any of you who could share some insight or suggestions!

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